I hope your trousers suit you well as public speaker,
You’re never bullied into heals when you’ve got sneakers.
May you never take an ankle sock for granted.
God forbid you ever leave your hair unbanded.
I hope you still feel hot when rocking jeans and t-shirt.
Whenever someone mocks flip-flops, you’ll never be hurt.
Promise me that you’ll give hats a fighting chance.
And when you get the choice to skirt it up or pants…
I hope you pants.
[Maudlin strings, dance break, sweaty cool down, resume.]
I hope you never fear those workouts in the distance,
Always balance your aerobic with resistance.
All your heft will carry weight, but it’s worth bearing;
Playing sports will lead to bruises, they’re worth sharing.
I hope you still stand tall when surrounded by the shorter,
Whenever someone orders wine, you’ll have a porter.
Give your laurels more than just a passing glance,
And when you’re hearing lots of “no”s or “don’t”s or “can’t”s,
I hope you pants.