NFL: The Movie

And now, for your substanceless Friday posting…
With the recent NFL official foofaraw, I kept seeing this picture of Broncos’ head coach John Fox:

…and it put me in mind of actor David Morse (Tritter from House, among many other things):


That similarity reminded me of Steelers’ coach Mike Tomlin, whose resemblance to Omar Epps is so uncanny that you only have to google one of them to get side-by-side composites of them both:

Then I started getting quizzed for more casting suggestions. So, based on prompts and a conversation-imposed 10-second time limit, these are the NFL casting decisions I made. And yes, this is how I spend my time.

(OK, full disclosure, the first question was, “Who the fuck is going to play Andy Reid?” To which I responded immediately, “Wilford Brimley.” But that wasn’t a serious effort. Heh.)

Seahawks Pete Carroll?

Pfft, that’s easy: Richard Gere.

The Bucs’ Greg Schiano was kind of a tough one.

But I went with FNL‘s own boyish Luke Cafferty–aka Matt Lauria (maybe a younger version of Schiano).

The Harbaugh brothers of San Fran and Baltimore? (Well, let’s just go with Jim.)

That let me stick with the FNL theme by picking Joe McCoy, the evil and smirky D.W. Moffett.

“GIVE ME A JOE PHILBIN.” (Yeah, I had to look him up, too: Dolphins.)

Now we’re moving on to Breaking Bad: Mike, aka Jonathan Banks.

Mike Shanahan?

Aaaand, I kind of hate myself for this, but… (It must be the Irishness.)

At this point, it was suggested that Sheen would have to be Roger Goodell…

But I gotta say, I’m starting to think of this as a quirky, epic, Coen Brothers/P.T. Anderson kind of film. And therefore, the only choice for Goodell is…

Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Perfect. Now all we need is a script…

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