Been an odd week, starting with the full moon/ring ‘round the sun combo on Monday. It seems to be affecting us in weird ways, here in the World of Words. Grown professionals keep trying to use phrases like “golden shower” and “canoodling” in totally incorrect contexts.
And yet today I still know the perfect syntax for ordering my iced triple-grande nonfat vanilla latte.
Yesterday McD described a group of dolphins (perhaps not incorrectly) as “cheeky.”
An ESPN writer wrote that Lebron James’ passes are “as soft and buttery as croissants.” And thus was born the weirdest French pastry craving trigger in the history of behavioral science.
During an interview with me on Tuesday, a man who was trying to identify himself as a “Francophile” accidentally called himself a “pedophile” instead. Try coming up with a follow-up question for that one.
In another phone conversation with an older woman regarding a link in an email, she asked me, “And how will the two computers know each other?” Never before has my brain short-circuited me into paralysis. They should use that question as a counterterrorism technique. Cops should yell it at fleeing criminals instead of “Stop!” “This is the police: AND HOW WILL THE TWO COMPUTERS KNOW EACH OTHER.” And the criminals just fall down.
ME: How did you measure the rum for this mai tai?
CCB: I just guessed.
ME: Y’know, we have a jigger.
CCB: Those always make me feel so racist.