“Coffee, Coffee, You’re so Great…

…insomnia will be my fate.”

This is how my mind wanders when it’s happiest. These were written a decade ago at one job, published in another (aside from the Jabberwocky ripoff). I think they’ll feel most at home here.

Limericks.
There has yet on this earth to be seen
Another who so loved caffeine.
By cup or by shot,
I’ll drink the whole pot,
And then I’ll start chewing the bean.

Coffee, I’m sure not mistaken,
Is the reason my blood remains shaken.
But when it sits still
I feel slightly ill,
And then my poor head begins achin’.

Anapaest.
When it comes to a morning-time drink,
There is liquor, of course, but absurd.
When I’m drowsy caffeine helps me think,
Though my vision is equally blurred.
I won’t sleep if I can’t even blink.
I like my veins shaken, not stirred.

The Coffee Black. (Don’t get it? Read Lewis Carroll’s version.)

‘Twas filling and the tiny pot
Perspired and darkened in the drip.
All flimsy was the styrofoam,
And how bitter the first sip.

Beware the coffee black, my tongue,
The drops that stain, the tastes that choke.
Beware the sugar-free and shun
The awful Diet Coke.

She took her sugar packs in hand,
Long time the bitter stuff she brewed,
So rested she by the old mug tree,
While thoughts of cream accrued.

And as the cream from fridge arrived,
The coffee black with caffeine drug
Came pouring from the grounds derived
And oozed into the mug.

Plop-plop, fizz-fizz, how sweet it is,
The sugar packs went in the cup.
And added cream to cool the steam,
And then she drank it up.

And hast thou drunk the coffee sweet?
Come to my veins, my friend caffeine!
Oh joyous taste is sugar-based
To brighten up the bean!

‘Twas filling and the tiny pot
Perspired and darkened in the drip.
All flimsy was the styrofoam,
And how bitter the first sip.

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1 Comment

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One response to ““Coffee, Coffee, You’re so Great…

  1. Thing Two

    Some day I’m going to collect all your coffee poems and put them in a calendar or something. I’m not kidding, you wait.

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